Hello World,
What if your own guilt pleasures (cumulated) were affecting your loved ones?
Last summer my father had a heart attack to which he survived. After the scary part and the sadness that came with it, I found myself in a place of anger. Of course I was feeling guilty to be angry at him but it was there. He wasn’t really taking care of himself, too busy to pay attention to what we were seeing. And the concerns we voiced never seemed to affect him.
My way out of that negative feeling was to rationalise it. This made me realise a few things:
1. You are not accountable for what others decide to do for themselves. You can only make them aware of what you see, know or notice, but then you have to let it go. Your responsibility ends here.
2. You are responsible for your own health – only you can take the steps to optimise it. No one else is to blame when it comes to health issues that are triggered by unhealthy behaviours.
3. You obviously hold a responsibility towards anyone that relies on you, either because you take care of them or because you are a role model to them. Typically, if you are a smoker, this habit may not only harm you, but your surrounding as well. And any bad habits you have could potentially be picked up by your children.
4. Your health issues also affect your loved ones because they care (even if they are supposed to let it go → 1.). Thus, if you are willing to protect your relatives from any burden or grief, you may want to take care of yourself. To the extent you can influence your health, you are responsible for it but also for your surrounding wellbeing.
Again, it’s not about guilt or about depriving yourself from some indulgence that sometimes feels so right. Just beware of those attitudes that become habits from which you don’t get that initial pleasure anymore.
Have you noticed any habit you’d like to get rid of?
My dad is now recovering well and I am at peace. I did my part and I shared with him my thoughts. Welcoming negative feelings is another healthy behaviour. It all depends of what you do with the energy you get from them.
How do you deal with negative feelings?
Responsibility is a theme that should be thought of in many other aspects of life. In today’s society it is way overlooked as we talk more about rights and what we deserve.
But what other responsibilities that imply consequences for others do we have?
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