Hello World!
Here comes the day for the love birds out there, the business around Valentine’s day and all sorts of reflections about relationships.
We all hear about how you cannot truly love someone if you don’t love yourself first and I’d even add, if you don’t know yourself well. That later defines what you’re looking for. Unfortunately our broken hearts often list the “dont’s” only: what you don’t want in a partner, what you don’t want to go through again and what throws you off. It sure gives you a broader spectrum of possibilities than if you were to go by that check list we all secretly have – I’m talking about that 6-pack, the man who reads in bed (that’s totally a turn on), etc. But this doesn’t really define what you’re looking for, what you need or crave – the positive aspects. And that’s focusing on what the other has to offer, not on the interactions which will bring you joy. Knowing yourself allows you to be more centred and oriented towards the real questions: why being with someone, why sharing that precious time of yours, what will make this relationship worth the ride and manageable in the long run?
As strange and as childish as it might sound, I’ve always had this pillow fight criteria. I’m a very visual person and as I was dating, if I could not picture myself having a genuine shameless pillow fight while jumping on a bed with the person, it was not a fit. And believe me, I’ve dated wonderful people but my mind would scream “it’s a no go”. Now, I might never share that moment in my relationships but the fact that I knew the person had that carefree child hearted part meant it could take us a long way. And so far, when looking back, that criteria has always been the common ground that defined my choices in partners and the type of memories I made with them. My way in ensuring that no matter what, we would have a way to making life lighter…
And you, what’s your criteria when projecting yourself in a successful relationship?
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